Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
