I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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