i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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