It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize