He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
