Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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