Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
