I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
