I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
