Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just want nice things and good sex
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
