We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
