Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
