so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
