Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
