my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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