It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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