I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
