i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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