which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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