Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
