Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
