Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
