...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
