We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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