Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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