Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
