Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
