hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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