Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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