wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
