my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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