I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
