you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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