It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
