Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
