then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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