Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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