Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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