I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
