so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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