D3 body, D1 cock
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
