ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
