Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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