Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
