My liver just broke up with me...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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