Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
