He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
