He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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