we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
