Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
