At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
