no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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