she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
